Whale Tail

While the term "whale tail" may not currently be in your vocabulary it will be now. We have all witnessed at the most inappropraite times: While out with your 11 year old daughter, picking up your son from childcare or just hanging out with your husband. There she is...bending over or squating down to reveal her..."whale tail"...or better recognized as a thong coming up out of her pants. I just don't understand how this happens so often. Not only do you have to be wearing a thong but your shirt has to be too short and your pants way to low for the "whale tail" to appear. While I do get that thongs are necessary with some outfits but really ladies if your tucking your "tail" back into your jeans it's not the right undergarment for you!

Jump up and down before you leave the house!

We have all seen her….the lady out for a jog that is about to knock herself out with her taa taas bouncing all around. There are two kind of sports bra’s; 1) casual wear strictly for walking and yoga like activities 2) tight, restricting athletic contraptions to smush your pancakes flat and into place.

Now to determine what you might have on there is a simple procedure. You must stand in front of a mirror and jump up and down. If the ladies are looking in all different directions and flopping like water balloons then you’re in trouble. Try on something tighter and more supportive. Don’t be afraid to be forceful; let them know who is boss! It’s hard to find a good support system in this world but if you can find it in a bra you are ready to run! Go get em chicas!

Stuck in a Digital World

Anytime I am out with friends I love it when they take lots of pictures! I find myself thinking, “if they are taking all these pictures I don’t need to.” So I relax and let them be the photographer to catch the memories forever.

However, I find myself waiting and waiting for them to be show up in my inbox or maybe I might get tagged on Facebook. Pretty soon I realize that they are “one of those people”. The ones that get all excited to take photos and then just leave them on their camera. By the time 6 months pass and they get around to it I am over it! If your gonna take photos you better be sending them out. How hard is it? Really! If it is really hard then.... put your damn camera away!

Let's all say it together!
1) Point
2) Shoot
3) Send

Really!? A little too close!

I was having lunch at a sushi restaurant the other day. There were a few people scattered around the sushi "bar" at various seats. As we ate the place cleared out. There were also tables at the restaurant but the whole place is seat yourself.

So a man with his 2 boys walk in and decide to practically sit on top of me! There were about 50 chairs in the whole place and for some reason the one inches away from me was the place to be. Really?! Why are people so clueless?

Wasabi with that???

No shoes, no shirt, no thank you!

We all get excited when the sun shines brightly after a long winter. It's spring time and the birds are chirping. However there are some men that take this sun shining to be summer time. Yes, the sun is out, no it is not hot. So please put your shirt back on so we all don't have to look at your pale flabby body. Nobody want to see that; keep it all for yourself buddy!

What's with the phone?

On a recent night out with my girlfriend, "Veronica," we found ourselves at a classy 26 and over establishment in the Pearl. We were both excited to see that it was an older croud and from what we heard "the new place" to be at. Our excitment quickly turned to dismay as one guy after another would approach the bar we were sitiing at, order a drink, make small talk then turn his attention to his hand held divice while tying to hold a conversation with us. Since when is it acceptable for a grown man, not just one... but several...to not be able to keep his phone in his pants long enough to get an answer to his mundane question? I know that we live in a world of technology but please...keep your phone in your pants.

"Ayo, I'm tired of using technology
Why don't you sit down on top of me?
Ayo, I'm tired of using technology
I need you right in front of me"